Certain I will drown
in the Pain of infinity
If I let anyone too near to me.
Embodied. Come back in.
What do I do then with the chagrin?
The deep intrinsic sadness
Convinced of my own badness
Unable to forgive some horrible sin
that I can not even understand...
Nothing makes sense.
Nothing but false pretense.
All is well, all is well
Nothing wrong. So strong...
I am. Yes.
But these feelings too...
If the only way out is through
What can I do
If I crumble to pieces?
Will a blast of lightning Pain
Finally drown out the rain
and the tears and the clouds
The screaming voices, so loud?
And magically leave me whole again?
Feel it to heal it! They blithely say...
I can't feel anymore today.
Choosing safety. Choosing numbness.
Losing patience. Refusing dumbness.
As in the original meaning of no voice
We do always have choice.
Our most powerful tool. Stronger even than love.
It comes down to choice. But quickness must also be honed
I want to make choices of love
before my reactions leave me crying again
feeling so alone
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