Tuesday 27 May 2014

Freedom from facebook (?)

Yesterday, it was a Monday, at about 6:31pm, I impulsively decided that I would forego facebook for one entire week. I noticed that my tendency, when I have a few minutes of nothing planned to do, is to check facebook. The problem is that one can get lost there for more than the foreseen few minutes. And what more productive things could I be doing with my time? Don't get me wrong, I love facebook and enjoy sharing ideas, thoughts, music, Xavierisms...and I come across some really great and inspirational stuff from time to time.

But I have been wondering what facebook does to my ability to remain in this fabulous present tense. Quite some time ago I caught myself thinking: "That would be a great status update!" And then my brain began repeatedly producing such thoughts. Facebook made me develop a new thought pattern, a habit, a samskara if we want to use Sanskrit. Now, when something great/funny/inspirational happens, I almost immediately think to myself, "Hey! I should put that on facebook!" Consider how this affects my ability to live in the moment...right? Not good. But I am torn, because I do like facebook.

I have to admit that I have, since my declaration to abstain, checked facebook in order to communicate with my friend who is not entered in my new phone. Silly, I know. So I have to message with her on facebook until she texts me. I haven't posted and I try not to read the news feed...but I see the first few things. I feel like I am missing opportunities to express myself!

Hence, I write this silly blog post, which barely anyone will read because I won't "share" it on facebook. Which brings me to another issue: narcissism. I want to express myself. And I can write a blog or post things on facebook or twitter or instagram (woah! I just realized that I can get instagram now because my phone takes pictures!! yipeee!!) So now the world can see me again! Where is this need, this desire to be seen, to be heard, stemming from? Who the hell am I and does anyone really care what I have to say? I guess some people must because I do enjoy the expressions of others. Like anyone, some posts resonate more than others.

Why is that? I feel like we can only hear, only understand certain messages. Some we disagree with, some we like, some make us roll our eyes. But the same post that makes me roll my eyes makes another person jump for joy; the same post that changes my worldview makes another person shut down and get angry. I have been so incredibly in love with the band Nahko and Medicine for the People lately. I posted like five videos on my facebook wall. It appeared to me, based on the lack of likes and such, that nobody cared. The lyrics, the message, is of unity and equality, of love and interconnection. And the music itself is fucking awesome. So why doesn't everybody love it as much as I do? The answer is not simply that we all have different tastes. It's that we have different rhythms, frequencies. And some messages make some of us uncomfortable. In any case, "Time to increase my frequency!" (That's a line from this awesome song "Budding Trees").