The text message came to me one afternoon. A dear friend needing to make friends with her mind. My immediate reaction was one of profound responsibility. I have something to offer and when asked to teach, to share knowledge, I have heard it said, one should heed the call. But I was also struck by another profound thought: "meditation can't be taught." Now, this isn't exactly true. I texted back and said that I could come over later that night and share with her some of what I practice, some of what I know.
In the eight-limbed path of yoga, the tree that is called ashtanga, there is both dharana=concentration and dhyana=meditation. Before having a hope in hell of reaching an actual state of meditation (where the mind reaches an uninterrupted flow of concentration) most of us earthlings have much work to do. I recently was blessed to learn from Srivatsa Ramaswami and he explained that there are 5 stages of mind (as outlined in Patanjali's yoga sutra 1.32):
Stage 1: kshipta = "broken mind"
Stage 2: mudha = "infatuated with the outer world; slave to the senses, seeking always pleasure"
Stage 3: vikshipta = "distracted minds; some focus but multiple interests/distractions"
Stage 4: ekagra = "mind is able to remain focused on one thing for a long time"
Stage 5: nirodhah = "no distraction; no objects"
Most of us, he said, are somewhere between 3 and 4. So how to gain control of the mind? This has to do with energies, with gunas. The yamas and the niyamas are the first limbs in the system because they have to do with what we energetically allow into our bodies, into our energy fields. What we want, ultimately, is a sattvic state of mind SO THAT we will be able to meditate. Sattva is joy, peace, balance, equanimity, light. It is fresh healthy food and loving thoughts. It is living in the present moment and being aware of the vital force, of the love, that permeates all of life. The other two energies are tamas and rajas. Tamas is heavy, grounding and somewhat dull. It's fried chicken and alcohol; it's sleeping too much and feeling sad a lot. Rajas is fiery and energetic, if not agitated. It's spicy food and angry words. It's heat and excessive worrying. Don't get me wrong, all of the energies are present and necessary, but the work of one who wishes to meditate is to limit, to decrease tamas and rajas so that they can achieve a sattvic state of mind, which is the ultimate goal of yoga.
One of the interesting things that Ramaswami explained is that doing the asana practice, the physical postures, decreases rajas. A person with a very distracted, agitated, worried or quick mind should practice lots of asanas to prepare for meditation. The practice of pranayama is said to decrease tamas; a person who is depressed or down will benefit from doing more breathing techniques as they prepare for meditation. So, if you fall asleep in meditation, do more pranayama; if your mind won't stop racing, do more asana. Simple! (I love it when things have formulas and are simple).
I went to my friend's house and began by saying: "Meditation is not all bliss. And it's the hardest thing I've ever done. You might think that I am sitting here with my eyes closed, with my hands resting gently in my lap, tip of thumb and index lightly touching, at peace. After years of practice, I find peace at times. But in the beginning, it's hell. And it's hard. For me meditation physically hurts as blocked energy wells up beneath my shoulder blade, burning and screaming at me to let go. To open. To surrender." Well, maybe I didn't say ALL that but I did ask her not to get discouraged. And told her it was normal for the mind to race and that, once you notice the thoughts, simply let them pass by, without attaching any stories to them or following them up with subsequent triggered thoughts.
We started of with some asanas and then did some pranayama. I then led us through a loving kindness meditation where you send love to first yourself, then someone you love, then someone you have no real feelings for or against, and, finally, you send love to someone you have an issue with, to an enemy if you have one. After that we moved into our best attempts at "one-pointed focus" by repeating a mantra over and over silently in our heads. We used the mantra om but any mantra will work. I often use mantras when meditating but only recently realized the importance of sticking to one mantra. Ramaswami pointed out the importance of trying to stay with one practice for a period of time so that the progress is evident. Discipline. It's coming slowly for me. I'm starting to understand the kind of mental discipline required to achieve meditate. The other day I only strayed from the mantra 4 times in 12 minutes. That was good for me :)
I don't know if I succeeded in "teaching" my friend to meditate. The technique that will work for me most certainly won't be the best one for you. And, moreover, there is no one "way" to meditate. Meditation is more the product of intense practice and preparation than it is simply something most of us can sit down and achieve instantly. It is the marker of our progress, an indicator that the process, that the system of yoga, is working, and that the sattvic mind is achievable. Those moments of bliss, the tiny little glimpses of samadhi, where all separation falls away, rekindles the deep knowing that is within us all. Who am I? Why am I here? I do know, during those instants, and that knowing can't really leave, no matter how my ego flares up, no matter how messed I allow my mind to periodically become. Trust in that. Develop faith in that knowing. This is my work. And as Nahko and Medicine for the People sing: "The body talks and meditation helps." Yes. It most certainly helps. Even the scientists are in agreement now ;)
