Thinking of Grandma

If my Grandma were alive, she would have turned 90 years old today. She passed away just over three years ago. I miss her. She was the most amazing person; I learned so much from her and I am forever grateful for her love and wisdom. This photo was taken not long before she moved on:

 

Xavier with Great Grandma Mina

The Following is the Eulogy I wrote and gave for Grandma at her funeral. I wanted to share a little bit of my memories of this dear and divine woman with you:

Love. There are so many admirable qualities I can think of to describe my Grandma but, first and foremost, Grandma equals love. Incredible love for her family and for her friends but also a huge love of life. She could always appreciate the small things, always find beauty and joy in the everyday.

Grandma was born on January 22^nd of 1922. Her early childhood was a happy one; her mother, Nellie, and father, Vern, operated a café and had a machinery shop in Canwood along with running a farm a couple miles out of town. Vern also operated the grain elevator for a time. However, she lost both her parents at a very young age. Her mother died when Grandma was only six years old and her father died a year later. Just last week-end, last Sunday when I was visiting with Grandma she told me, “Life has to go on Shanna. I never even had a mother since I was six years old.” Despite this hardship, Grandma persevered, not only surviving her youth but growing into the kind and loving person we all knew her to be. Grandma was always the most caring mother, grandmother, sister, wife and friend that anyone could ever hope for.

After working hard throughout her youth and teen-age years Grandma met my Grandpa Willie, a man I know only from the stories I’ve heard. Grandma always told me that when they first met, she first noticed his smile; she could see from the start that he had a big heart. Willie and Mina fell in love and were married when Grandma was 18 years old. Willie was 26. Grandma continued to work hard on the farm, raising pigs, chickens, dairy cattle and horses along with, all told, seven beautiful BIG children. Four of the seven weighed more than ten pounds! But Grandma loved and cared for them all, working hard sewing and knitting clothes for them and always making sure there was food on the table. Dad always said that they never went hungry. Now that I have my own big little baby I try to imagine how hard it was to raise so many children with no running water. Grandma actually told me that she loved washing my brother Billy and my cloth diapers because she had a washing machine and it was so easy! I’m sure we could all learn from her work ethic. From these seven kids sprang Grandma’s family, 15 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren to date and Grandma always had more than enough love to go around for us all.

My earliest memories of Grandma are of arriving at her house early in the morning when Billy and I were quite small. Grandma loved staying up to watch her 11 o’clock news so she’d often still be in bed when we got there. We’d run into her bedroom and say, “Grandma! Can we play Mountain?” So our old Grandma, who would do absolutely anything for us, would, while lying on her back in bed, bend her knees up to make a knee mountain. We’d climb right up and sit on top until the mountain would start to tremble and shake and then collapse beneath our weight. Billy and I would laugh and giggle saying, “again, again!” Poor Grandma had to have a hip replacement a few years later…

But she would always play with us. She was never too busy to be the Big Bad Wolf as us two little piggies ran from closet to closet, making such a mess. She almost never got angry with us though, except this one time…

I kept opening the refrigerator door and looking at the contents within. She warned me to stop letting all the cold air out but I kept on opening it up. Finally she said, “Shanna, if you do that again, I’m going to give you a licken.” So, I did it again. Well, I got a little pop on the butt and Billy ran to my rescue, kicking his Grandmother for spanking his sister.

A little while later when Grandma was visiting Israel, mom found Billy crying and packing a little suitcase.

“Billy, where are you going?”

“I gotta go get Grandma from the Holy Lands. She’s gonna fall in a hole over there and she won’t come back AND she’s mad at us cuz we kicked her!”

Well, when Grandma did get home Billy gave her the biggest hug and sat on her knee for hours.

Grandma’s love never dwindled and as we got older Grandma never missed a ball or hockey game, play or concert. She was always there if she could make it. She loved watching ball the most though, and it was heartbreaking to see her so sick this summer as her little Rachelle was winning Westerns. I’m sure she would have done anything to be able to be there. We all told her all about the games and she was the proudest lady in St. Paul’s Hospital, telling all the nurses about how her grandaughter was not only the Most Valuable Player of the tournament but the Best Hitter as well.

Though she didn’t always have quite so much reason to be proud of us playing our sports, she was sure we could do no wrong. Grandma was watching me play Ringette years ago and when I got a penalty she asked Uncle Larry what I’d done. It was probably for body checking but Uncle Larry thought it would be funny to tell a little fib. “Well, Shanna hit that girl right over the head with her stick!” he said. Grandma's quick reply: “Well, what did that girl do to Shanna first?”

Grandma’s love for us all was so great. She never once forgot a birthday. I wrote this eulogy on my birthday and I’d like to think she was giving me one last gift, the greatest to date: the chance to honour her life. She even took time to remember the birthdays of those loved ones she lost along the way. Last year I called Grandma from Japan just to talk to her. It must have been on November 14^th because that was Willie’s birthday. She said, “Do you know what I’m doing? I’m having a nice cup of hot cocoa made just the way Willie used to have it with milk and cocoa and sugar all heated on the stove.” I could just see her sitting on her little phone bench enjoying the warm sweet drink. She cherished the memories of the people she missed and told stories about them, keeping their memories alive. I never knew my Grandfather or my Uncle Bill but the stories Grandma told have given me much joy, just as the stories we’ll all tell about Grandma to our children will not only bring joy but also teach love and kindness, generosity and courage.

I told Grandma on the day she died that I will always smell Xavier’s feet and say, “eww, peufty stink!” Until he giggles just like she did to all of us and when Xavier comes to me and says, “I’m Hungry.” I’ll reply, “If you’re hungry catch a bungry.” Then I’ll promptly feed him. If only I can someday cook and bake as well as Grandma could. We’ll all miss her homemade buns and cinnamon buns, her cabbage rolls, her gingersnaps of which I was known to eat many. One day as I was leaving Grandma’s house, hands full of cookies she said, “How many do you have?” I looked down and counted. “Seven.” She just laughed. Some people, especially her boys, will miss the lutefisk dinners that come along every Christmas. I do have some graham flour and have rolled the flopra many times before with Grandma so I’ll try my best to keep the tradition alive, rolling flopra and remembering all the wonderful times I was so lucky to have spent with my Grandma. She taught me it was ok to be silly, to love life, to keep your family close to you and she taught me to pray.

I remember lying in bed as Grandma taught me the Lord’s Prayer. I had a pretty good memory so it didn’t take too long. My Grandma had enormous faith but she was never judgmental or petty and if anybody had reason to become angry with God, my Grandma did. Instead she was thankful every day of her life. When she had cancer about 12 years ago she would say how lucky she was as she watched news of the genocide in Rwanda. She told me that some of those people running for their lives might be just as sick as her so she was so thankful to be safe in her own home. She always said it isn’t hard to look around and see that someone out there has it tougher than you, that there is always a reason to be thankful. I hope I learned that lesson from her.

No matter what, Grandma was always praying for us all. I know she prayed for me because as I went through all the letters and cards she’s ever sent me I noticed that they all ended the same way. “God Bless and Keep You. I Pray that Every Night.” X’s and O’s. Lots of big X’s and O’s. And you know, if I ever felt worried while abroad I would think, “I’m ok, Grandma is praying for me.” When I prayed the night Grandma passed away I knew I didn’t have to ask God to keep her, she went straight into heaven. I simply kept repeating, “Thank you. Thank you God for giving me the most wonderful Grandma in the whole world.”

Thank you Grandma, for everything. For being you.

I could keep going for hours for there is no shortage of nice things to say about such a wonderful woman but I think I had better stop and let some other people share their memories if they would like to do so. I know one person who is proud of me and thinks I did a good job, Grandma was always proud of us and loved us all. When she hadn’t even the strength to answer a yes or no question, she still managed to respond to “I love you” with a warm, “I love you too.” And she knew we loved her for the last thing I heard her say after telling her we all loved her was, “Of course you do.” How could we not love such a kind, loving and generous woman.