A Radical Act of Love

So I have been accepted to do a PhD in Modern Languages and Cultural Studies. Actually, in the end, if I choose this path, I will have a PhD in French Literature and Culture. But wait? Do I even know French well enough? I do not know. All I know is that they let me in.

So I am slightly worried. I'm going to brush up, a little or a lot. A couple weeks ago I took out a couple DVDs and books from the Edmonton Public Library (EPL). One is a French translation of Jon Kabat-Zinn's Arriving at Your Own Door: 108 Lessons in Mindfulness. In French it is titled more simply Méditer: 108 leçons de pleine conscience. I like the French translation of "mindfulness." It's more like "full consciousness" or "complete awareness" perhaps. In any case, I'm enjoying the short little insights tremendously, looking up the odd word but getting the overall gist of things.

The lesson that has had the most impact so far is lesson number 13: "UN ACTE RADICAL":
"Par-dessus tout, j'en suis venu à considérer la méditation comme un acte d'amour radical, un geste intérieur de bienveillance et de bonté envers soi-même et les autres, un geste du coeur qui reconnaît notre perfection, y compris dans notre évidente imperfection –avec tous nos défauts, nos blessures, nos attachements, nos contrariétés et nos habitudes persistantes de non-conscience" (p24).

I won't translate the entire passage but will try my best to relay the message: Meditation is a radical act of love! It's an internal gesture of benevolence towards oneself and towards others. An action of the heart who understands our perfection, even though we are evidently imperfect–with all of our faults, our pain, our attachments, our judgements and our persistent bad habits of being unaware (non-consciousness).

This rings true for me. I often resist my daily meditation and deep inside I know it's because I don't deem myself worthy of self-love, let alone enlightenment. I know the wonders and the balance meditation will bring, not just to the person practicing but to those around them and even to all people and life everywhere. Love of self is love of all! That helps me love myself, because I do intend to love all. And with mediation that unconditional part will just keep getting closer and closer to true unconditionality!