Losing track(s)

"Lost but not Found"

I am not sure how much many
I am supposed to do. To be.

Certainly more than I am.
I can never be enough.

If I could just be more and better
Then maybe he would not have let her
Into his arms?

Surely this was proof of my uncouth ways.

Will I be safe from all pain
If I can be just the same
As the best person ever?

Will money and prestige
And making sure everybody likes me
Mean that I will never
Have to hurt again?

There is always one more poem to write
Always a reason to end this fight
I should be able to choose even more light!

Right?

I have lost track of how much more I should do.
Maybe all this searching will never lead me to true.
Maybe I am already perfectly new
And fresh.

Like the snow that keeps falling.
We can shovel it away while the children are balling
it up to make fluffy, breakable projectiles.

And if we rest just awhile, the blanket can cover
The wounds brought about by one too many past lovers.
No paths out there for me to take, it is time I discover

That the Garden of Love
In my metaphorical Heart
Is what I am
And there is no part of me
That is not already perfect and free.