I almost got it right
This Earthling such a delight
This morning.
He did not rise without warning.
No.
I had to wake him.
His sleeping cherub face
I rubbed his forehead
He stretched a little
And settled back into slumber
Eyes moving beneath lids
Eyelashes long and beautiful
I grow beautiful children.
"Are you waking up?"
I gently asked.
I hear my Grandmothers voice inside my head:
"Never wake a sleeping baby."
But I must. He will ask:
"Do I have school?"
Yes, little sweetie. You do.
"And you have French?"
Yes, little sweetie. I do.
The floor in the bathroom is warm.
I even start the car to warm it up today!
Except, it isn't really that cold out.
We leave with plenty of time.
No sighs. No cries. Food ate. No fear of being late!
This is so great.
I win at this solo parenting thing.
We arrive and head in.
Both of us wearing a grin
And enjoying this day.
As we begin to head up the stairs
He stumbles and places his hand
exactly where...
my foot is about to land.
Oh! The tears. The face. The sadness. He feels betrayed!
"Mama! You stepped on my fingers!"
I kiss him. I rock him. I say that I am sorry.
"Ouch. That must have really hurt."
Validate these huge feelings
Mine own are already reeling
A warm smile greets us. I explain what happened.
I pass my child, now calm, into the arms of the dearest most gracious caregiver
And I am grateful for her and for all the people that work there.
And I leave. Still on time.
Wondering what it is we are doing on the Earth.
Trying to forgiving myself for harming the Angel I birthed.
Wondering if I will ever get it all right
someday.
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