Sloan's song "I can feel it" just
came on. "But you've got a thing for me. I can feel it. I can feel it. And
I've got a thing for you too. You can have it." Feeling. We can feel it,
even when we aren't consciously aware.
This past weekend I had the immense
privilege and good fortune to learn from Suzanne Faith Slocum-Gori. Let me just
say, unselfconsciously and without "complexity or pride," that I love
her. In one of her workshops she illuminated the seat of the teacher, focusing
on how to hold sacred space for students. And since we're all students, all
teachers, her insight and wisdom is invaluable for all of life. So much
invaluable knowledge was shared and I am so grateful.
But back to "feeling
it": at one point the tangibility of the energy of thoughts came forth.
The energy of thought is felt. Felt by the students, felt by all of the people
that one might direct thought at. Judgment. As teachers, as people, we need to
take responsibility for this. When teaching, she asked that we look for what is
beautiful about the student, find their strength and encourage that. Then they
will also feel that beauty, that strength. Instead of looking at someone in
down dog and seeing misalignment or tight hamstrings or lack of integration,
find their specific strength in the pose. Maybe it could be their earnestness
or the power in their legs or their core, or the flexibility of their joints.
There will always be something positive in their approach to the pose, and to
life. Peer out from the Self with Love first, before trying to detect possible
ways of improving. Love first. Right? This is why the famous Mother Theresa
quotation is so foundational: "If you judge people, you have no time to
love them." This applies also to the Self. To the negative self-talk that
can run rampant through one's mind. Catch it! Do not engage in self-harming via
your own thoughts. Being gentle and kind with myself has been and continues to
be a challenging lesson to fully integrate. I am enough. I am enough. One more
time: I am enough. For me!
Acceptance of all of me. As Suzanne led a practice at the Sattva School of Yoga
this past Monday she began by explaining how she had felt a yearning to call in
Courage and Strength. The light of awakening is at hand...at mind? at heart? at
soul? Shreem! We chanted an
invocation to the Divine Mother in her many aspects. "He maha Lakshmi, He mata Kali, He Saraswati, Jagatombe jai jai Ma, He
ma Durga, He ma Durga..." In my own practice honouring and praising
the Divine Feminine has recently become intuitively necessary. I guess I could
say, I have had and continue to have a deep yearning to chant and give thanks
to the Divine Mother. I've been chanting the following, and, having only read
the words, the rhythm comes from within me: " OM Jayanti
Mangala Kali Bhadra-Kali Kapalini Durga Shiva Ksama Dhatri
Svaha Svadha Namo'Stu Te." So powerful, these
Sanskrit words vibrating through my entire being. Kali Ma!
Back to the practice, leading up to the
revelation, the mini-epiphany. Sweat dripped off of me, I found myself in a
pose I had never managed before (visvamistrasana
variation), as a deep fire burned through some of my samskaras (I hope!). And
then, during the meditation this liberating acceptance and Truth came to me:
"I accept my broken heart. I accept my broken heart. I accept my broken
heart." Over and over. There was no me, no space, nothing tangible
surrounding my body; simply light and love. I don't only accept my broken
heart, I LOVE it. It makes me who I am, it brings the depth and understanding
that I have gained through life experience, through past life experience, and
provides the sweetest compassion along with the fiercest love and protection.
Blessed. I am so incredibly grateful for this path that unfolds, for my journey
into Being.
I
accept my broken heart
I
accept my broken heart
I
love it
Thank
God for the pain
The
experience
The
depth.
Yes!
Blessed
To
feel. To reveal.
Nothing
wrong. Nothing right.
Acceptance
that dissolves fright
Shifting
from darkness to light.
Ephemeral
beauty.
Spiritual
duty.
Dancing.
Keep dancing. Ever chancing.
Emptiness
vibrating.
Nothing
in Every-thing.
To
be or to not? Impossible quandary.
Allow.
Let go. Let grow.
The
river will unstoppably flow.
Evolve.
Is-ness.
Unmasked.
And here is David Newman chanting to the Divine Mother.
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