In Spanish -ito and -ita are diminutives. So if you call me Shannita it's like calling me "little Shanna." With names it's often a term of endearment. When attached to most nouns, it just means little. So, slumpito. A little slump.
I'm not sure when my little slump began. Maybe just 2 or 3 days ago. I've been practicing yoga everyday, meditating before bed, eating well and enjoying my time. I've been becoming increasingly aware of how I respond to situations and I was feeling on top of the world! And then, for no known reason I just started to feel not on top of the world. This happens to me from time to time (my guess is that it happens to most people). The thing is, I don't understand why it happens.
I've been focusing on breathing a lot lately and I wonder if our emotions and moods aren't cyclical in the same way that the breath inevitably rises and falls. On the inhale we can feel light and energized, on an exhale grounded and peaceful. Maybe if we inhale to drastically, get too energized, our exhale will take us to a heavy place. I don't know. So, a little slump. It's fine. I know it won't last. But I wonder, will I always have ups and downs? Is this inevitable? Masters of yoga are not affected by the world around. They live in a state of complete equanimity. So, I'll keep working on that! Work to do. As Dr. Seuss wrote, "unslumping yourself is not easily done."
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Saturday, 4 February 2012
I need a cookie!
A facebook friend posted this video the other day. It's Aloe Blacc singing "I need a dollar." I could listen to him sing all day. His voice is...is...there are no words to describe how beautifully rich and mesmerizing Aloe Blacc's voice is. Xavier also really loves to watch this one:
He especially loves the dancing and dances along, though he's got a few moves to learn.
Back to "I need a dollar." We took the light rail transit train to the university the other day. Meshon took Xavier to the HUB Mall (a long food court) while I met with my interim supervisor. We had been there once before and people were giving out cookies in the hall. As soon as Xavier recognized where he was he began singing, quite loudly: "I need a cookie, a cookie, a cookie is what I neeeeed!" Over and over and over again. Meshon got him a cookie. Hmmmmm? Now I want a cookie!
He especially loves the dancing and dances along, though he's got a few moves to learn.
Back to "I need a dollar." We took the light rail transit train to the university the other day. Meshon took Xavier to the HUB Mall (a long food court) while I met with my interim supervisor. We had been there once before and people were giving out cookies in the hall. As soon as Xavier recognized where he was he began singing, quite loudly: "I need a cookie, a cookie, a cookie is what I neeeeed!" Over and over and over again. Meshon got him a cookie. Hmmmmm? Now I want a cookie!
Friday, 3 February 2012
En Français
Mais oui! Je peus parler français. Peut-être je ne peus pas tres bien écrire mais je n'ai pas de raison pour m'inquieter. Yeay! J'avais rencontrer avec mon "interim supervisor" aujourd'hui et il m'a dit que j'ai aucune raison d'avoir peur des cours en français. Alors, je vais lire quelques romans (il m'a suggérer un auteur) pour practiquer. Je suis vraiment excité pour commencer les études dans un domaine que je trouvent tellement interessante.
J'ai mal au tête et il faut que je dort. Bonne nuit!
J'ai mal au tête et il faut que je dort. Bonne nuit!
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Why are you here?
Why are you here? This is the question that Rameen, a new teacher of mine, likes to ask. He usually repeats once or twice using a different tone, differing the emphasis. His voice is filled with sincerity. My automatic response is, "I don't know and it doesn't matter. I can just be nice and pay attention and be open to whatever life throws at me." While I kinda think that is a good answer, it seems like he thinks we should maybe try to truly figure out why we're here. I don't know for sure if he thinks that because I haven't asked yet but it seems like he's asking me to meditate deeply, to energize upon this question: Why am I here? What is my life's dharma? Deep inside I know that I know already but I also know that I'm not going to know that I know for quite some time. Maybe something will snap and I'll suddenly know, like a bolt of lightning: this is my purpose here on earth!!! I've always thought that people who know exactly what is their purpose in life are just kind of tricking themselves but I'm starting to think that it is possible to figure it out.
So, before YOU go to bed tonight, find a quiet spot and ask yourself: Why am I here?
So, before YOU go to bed tonight, find a quiet spot and ask yourself: Why am I here?
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Ooops. I missed a day. I forgive me :)
Last night I came home after teaching three (yes, I get huge numbers here at Michener Park) beautiful ladies yoga. Xavier was still awake and I fell asleep while I was getting him to sleep. So I didn't write my blog yesterday. But that's ok. Life happens. I suppose if I want to learn from this I can recognize that it would be better to write my blog earlier in the day (though this is not always an option with my lovely play companion).
And so, today I will give you an update. Part of my biggest most underlying intention for this 40 Day journey is unconditional love. So it was easy to forgive myself for missing one day. Be gentle to yourself. I used to be so so so hard on myself all the time. Nothing I do is ever good enough. It's not not good enough for other people, it's not good enough for me, in my own mind. So I'm learning to be more kind to myself. It's a worthwhile endeavour; if I'm not going to be nice to myself, why would I expect anyone else to be?
So. What is this post about? I don't know. I have been keeping up my yoga practice. I had a great class at the Yoga Loft today with Rameen Peyrow. It was a beautifully challenging sequence. I have been faithfully and steadily, even readily, keeping up with my meditation, which has been the greatest thing. I am truly amazed at how–insert word that means good but better than good–life is going these days. I am even starting to, get this, LIKE meditating! I used to enjoy the after effects of meditation but found sitting so still completely excruciating. I am so fidgety and I recall saying, at some earlier point in my life, "I hate sitting still. It makes me feel like I'm dead or something." Little did I know the only thing that might die if I sit still is my EGO! I have been feeling this really interesting spiralling sensation as I meditate. Apparently it's normal. It's a stage (Rameen told me that). I've never been at a stage of meditation before!! (Wait, that's not true. I have been at the "this hurts my back, man this hurts, ouch" stage for awhile).
We found a calendar from 2009 of Hindu gods and goddesses. Xavier now sings devotional hymns to Indra and Krishna. His favourite is Ganesh. He told me that last night. He said, "My favourite is Ganesh because he removes all the obstacles. What are obstacles?" And so I will sign off with Xavier's fave song:
And so, today I will give you an update. Part of my biggest most underlying intention for this 40 Day journey is unconditional love. So it was easy to forgive myself for missing one day. Be gentle to yourself. I used to be so so so hard on myself all the time. Nothing I do is ever good enough. It's not not good enough for other people, it's not good enough for me, in my own mind. So I'm learning to be more kind to myself. It's a worthwhile endeavour; if I'm not going to be nice to myself, why would I expect anyone else to be?
So. What is this post about? I don't know. I have been keeping up my yoga practice. I had a great class at the Yoga Loft today with Rameen Peyrow. It was a beautifully challenging sequence. I have been faithfully and steadily, even readily, keeping up with my meditation, which has been the greatest thing. I am truly amazed at how–insert word that means good but better than good–life is going these days. I am even starting to, get this, LIKE meditating! I used to enjoy the after effects of meditation but found sitting so still completely excruciating. I am so fidgety and I recall saying, at some earlier point in my life, "I hate sitting still. It makes me feel like I'm dead or something." Little did I know the only thing that might die if I sit still is my EGO! I have been feeling this really interesting spiralling sensation as I meditate. Apparently it's normal. It's a stage (Rameen told me that). I've never been at a stage of meditation before!! (Wait, that's not true. I have been at the "this hurts my back, man this hurts, ouch" stage for awhile).
We found a calendar from 2009 of Hindu gods and goddesses. Xavier now sings devotional hymns to Indra and Krishna. His favourite is Ganesh. He told me that last night. He said, "My favourite is Ganesh because he removes all the obstacles. What are obstacles?" And so I will sign off with Xavier's fave song:
Monday, 30 January 2012
Tapas
I'm going to a yoga class at 9pm tonight (not for appetizers like Meshon thought when I mumbled "tapas" moments ago). I have been planning to do so for at least a few days. About 20 minutes ago I felt totally and completely unmotivated to go. I still don't feel like going, but I'm going.
Tapas: the fire, literally "heat"; self-discipline; austerity. It can mean essential energy or have to do with burning away negative energy. I think of it as doing something that I might not feel like doing but that my Self knows will be good for me. Good physically, mentally, spiritually–a lot of waysally. Do you know that I have never ever regretted having gone to a yoga practice? It's true. I honestly have never come out of any yoga studio anywhere and thought, "Man. I really wish I hadn't gone to that practice." So when I don't feel like going I try to remember this.
Off to practice now!
Tapas: the fire, literally "heat"; self-discipline; austerity. It can mean essential energy or have to do with burning away negative energy. I think of it as doing something that I might not feel like doing but that my Self knows will be good for me. Good physically, mentally, spiritually–a lot of waysally. Do you know that I have never ever regretted having gone to a yoga practice? It's true. I honestly have never come out of any yoga studio anywhere and thought, "Man. I really wish I hadn't gone to that practice." So when I don't feel like going I try to remember this.
Off to practice now!
Sunday, 29 January 2012
Xavier the Brave
The boy stood in an open clearing. The full moon shone down, causing tiny fragments of the white snow to glisten like diamonds. Across the clearing a figure paused. The child found himself staring into the eyes of a magnificent beast. The black wolf was motionless; the boy didn't flinch. No fear existed in either the heart or the mind of the young boy. He instantly knew this beast to be a part of him, knew that they were a part of each other. The wolf walked steadily and purposefully towards the boy. When their faces became so close that they could both feel the others' breath upon their cheeks, the wolf licked the boy's face gently. Xavier giggled and wrapped his arms around the wolf. Finally, they'd found each other...
I've been telling Xavier stories about the boy, Xavier, and his companion, a black wolf. They run around the forest helping whatever animals need help. It's fun to make up stories. The picture I found came with a great little Cherokee tale that I first heard at a yoga class (Dustin Fruson told it to us while we were in savasana). I like to tell it when I teach kids yoga. It goes like this:
An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment , inferiority, lies & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, & truth.” The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”
The version I heard began a little differently but the point is that practice makes perfect. The more we feed our anger, jealousy, greed and such the stronger it will get. The more often we get angry, the better we get at becoming angry. If we practice being joyful, loving and kind then we will get better and better at being loving and kind.
I like wolves I guess. I wrote a story for a French kids magazine called Clin D'Oeil when I was little. It was about running away and living with wolves. I won a book or a medal or something. I wonder if that little magazine is still around? Also, I like to sing this song when I'm very hungry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOg5VxrRTi0&ob=av3e
I've been telling Xavier stories about the boy, Xavier, and his companion, a black wolf. They run around the forest helping whatever animals need help. It's fun to make up stories. The picture I found came with a great little Cherokee tale that I first heard at a yoga class (Dustin Fruson told it to us while we were in savasana). I like to tell it when I teach kids yoga. It goes like this:
An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment , inferiority, lies & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, & truth.” The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”
The version I heard began a little differently but the point is that practice makes perfect. The more we feed our anger, jealousy, greed and such the stronger it will get. The more often we get angry, the better we get at becoming angry. If we practice being joyful, loving and kind then we will get better and better at being loving and kind.
I like wolves I guess. I wrote a story for a French kids magazine called Clin D'Oeil when I was little. It was about running away and living with wolves. I won a book or a medal or something. I wonder if that little magazine is still around? Also, I like to sing this song when I'm very hungry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOg5VxrRTi0&ob=av3e
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